FULLERTON, California — Everyone wants in on the green revolution — or at least the illusion of it.  But the lastest pseudo-hybrid cars make little effort to hide their environmental disdain.

First Chevrolet came out with its GuzLR hybrid truck, which set a record low with just 13 mpg (combined city & highway).  The GuzLR ad campaign lauds the vehicles "ground-breaking  technology" that helps you "crash through the environment."  

Next came the GMC with its Big Gulp, which approached the single-digit barrier with a whopping 11 mpg, but ultimately fell short except in its ability to provide 16 beverage holders.  Big Gulp's chief engineer laments his team's failure, "We simply ran out of time and to make it heavier and less efficient in all possible ways." 

And it was inevitable that Hummer would come out with its own version: The Jolly Green Eco-Giant, weighing in at a hefty 9 mpg — a full 3 mpg more than its standard Hummer.  This is sure to make an enormous difference in fossil fuel reduction.  

"We've got to make a stand on the environment," says Eco-Giant owner Vlad Cameron, "and I'm proud to be on the forefront of hybrid technology, right there with Hummer."