Hard rocker Osbourne doesn't see why the next season of The Osbournes shouldn't be set in Sacramento, with him as governor. After that, who knows — the 'first family of rock' might end up as the 'first family... period.'
LOS ANGELES -- Ozzy Osbourne has declared his intent to be put on the ballot as a candidate for the Governor of California. Osbourne is the first celeb to announce that he will run against Governor Schwarzenegger in the next gubernatorial election.
Coming on the heels of reports that Schwarzenegger's popularity is waning, Osbourne's declaration will inevitably stir protests from the state's conservative elements. Supporters cited pro wrestler Jesse Ventura's successful run for the governorship of Minnesota.
"If I can bite the head off a live bat, then I can take a bite out of this f*ing state deficit." —
Ozzy Osbourne, gubernotorious candidate
In addition to being a rabble-rousing, heavy metal rock legend, Osbourne has been accused of being a Satanist and animal torturer. During a concert, he is said to have bitten the head off a live bat. More recently, however, Osbourne is known as the patriarch of the popular reality sitcom, "The Osbournes," which chronicles America's favorite rock 'n roll family.
THE OZZMAN COMETH: Osbourne speaks with a reporter after announcing his run for the governorship of California. At a press conference in his Beverly Hills mansion, and flanked by wife Sharon and kids Jack and Kelly, Osbourne spoke in stammering earnest about his political venture. "Look, I know people will think this is a joke. But the sad truth is: The governator hasn't terminated a f*ing thing! We've still got a multi-billion dollar deficit! -- that's a f*ing suicide solution that will affect all of us!! I want to take this moment to assure California voters that I stand before you today not to make trouble and confuse matters, but because I can simply do a better f*ing job than that no-necked freak. If I can bite the head off a live bat, then I can take a bite out of this f*ing state deficit once and for all!"
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL: Osbourne hopes to put his wild side behind him in his bid for the governorship.
MTV, which produced "The Osbournes," followed with their own press conference announcing that Osbourne's political campaign will be incorporated into the script for the reality show. Other networks cast doubt on the sincerity of the dual announcements, accusing MTV and Ozzy of trying to boost interest in their show, which has seen its audience diminish since its first season.
Responding to such musings, Osbourne said, "I don't know. Reagan went from being a f*ing actor to a f*ing prez, and God knows he wasn't qualified. And Schwarzy can't run. Why shouldn't I? We've got lots of cats and dogs in our house -- the people sure like that. And Sharon has that 'first lady' look. If I did, I swear I wouldn't do anything too radical, like trashing the White House or doing weird stunts to get a rise out of other heads of state. I mean, it's not like I want to change the world or raise hell, but yeah, I'm a little curious to see what it's like to be the f*ing master of reality as we know it."
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