CERRITOS, Calif. – The Midwest furor over teaching creationism along with evolution in schools has led to a movement in the West to offer the teaching of polytheism, too.
 
 Over the years there have been countless lawsuits against public institutions for not fairly representing various religions. Now polytheists, members of one of the world’s oldest religions, are coming out of the religious shadows and asking for their own slice of heaven on earth.

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"I prayed hard to Vialiso, the god of fertility, and he granted me a new girlfriend and she is smoking hot."
    -- Haram Majubi

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Haram Majubi sued his son Majip's school last week for not including polytheism when they covered world religions in his class. Majubi is a Balnivian — an ancient polytheistic religion — and they currently worship 36 gods, with various other gods coming or going depending on the changing cultural needs. 
 
 "It’s a beautiful religion," says Majubi, "and more people should know about it.  Last year I prayed hard to Vialiso, the god of fertility, and he granted me a new girlfriend and she is smoking hot."
 
 Some of the other Balnivian gods include: Doritas, the goddess of corn and cheese; Lactosa, the goddess of milk; and Endora, the evil goddess of mother-in-laws. Dropped recently from the lineup was Bling, the God of Rap. 
 
 "Some followers of Bling started forming gangs" explained Majubi, "and began fighting. We can have none of that. We are a tolerant people. We thank the great state of California for listening to our many voices and giving our gods a fighting chance to be heard."
 
 Majip's case will be heard in court next month.