BERKELEY, Calif. — A California engineer has invented the first known lawnmower that doubles as a juicer.

Finn Friedrichsen, who works as a food research scientist for Whole Foods, came up with the lawnmower (known as the Organic WG-2000™) as a way to recycle his lawn clippings in a way that supported his wheatgrass habit. 

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"It's like steroids for vegetarians!"
— Finn Friedrichsen, inventor of the Organic WG-2000™

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"It was a no-brainer," says Friedrichsen.  "Why buy spendy wheatgrass drinks when I could get closer to the source with simple lawn clippings from my own yard?  'Holy Guacamole!' I thought to myself: 'I've been standing on the answer the whole time!'" 

Friedrichsen also claims that the highest levels of nutrients occur within an hour after cutting a plant, and that by drinking wheatgrass "on the spot," a person absorbs chlorophyll in a purer molecular form.

"That way," says Friedrichsen, "the 'blood of plants' is directly absorbed into the blood of humans — and it's potent... like steroids for vegetarians!  You just reach down and scoop some of that green gold out of the catch bag, shove it into the juicer and let the lawnmower engine juice it up for you."

Friedrichsen's neighbors aren't quite as pleased.  One neighbor, who wished to remain anonymous, said that "Basically, Finn's a nutcase — he gives us all a bad reputation.  We keep our kids at a safe distance.  Hell, rumor has it that the guy wears hemp underwear, too!"