Arnold Cuts Angelides to the Bone
Governor Schwarzenegger bags the former gubernatorial candidate and serves him up for the family Thanksgiving.
by George Wolfe
Brentwood, Calif. — Governor Schwarzenegger and his extended family had their fill this Thanksgiving: Phil Angelides.
After his thumping at the polls in November 2006, Phil was kicked out of his house, abandoned by the Democratic Party, and was last seen running around naked in Griffith Park with a bunch of other turkeys.
"I mostly did it for sport — I don't even like white meat."
— Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hearing about those reports, Arnold Schwarzenegger and a few of his hunting pals thought it would be fitting to bag the stark raving mad ex-candidate and carve him up for Thanksgiving.
“I don’t really even like white meat,” the governor said, “I mostly did it for sport.” When they found Angelides, he allegedly look horrified, then uttered a warbley, “Guber, guber, guber!” before fleeing into the brush.
After he was shot, Angelides was unceremoniously strapped to the front bumper of Schwarzenegger’s Hummer, then paraded through Hollywood and along Sunset Boulevard to the governor’s Brentwood home.
Schwarzenegger reportedly hired a taxidermist to stuff and mount Angelides’ head on a plaque, which the governor put on the wall of his Sacramento office "to make it more festive."
And how did Phil taste? “Not too tough at all,” chides Schwarzenegger.