Treehugger Climbs Bush to Protest Bush
A California activist scales a small bush in front of a federal building in Los Angeles to protest the ongoing policies of the Bush administration and to demand the president's impeachment.
by George Wolfe
LOS ANGELES — A prominent Southern California political activist climbed a bush and tied herself to the top of it as a symbolic gesture of protesting George W. Bush.
Skye Blü, of Santa Monica, Ca., has had run-ins with police and sheriff departments throughout Southern California, but her activism has tended to focus on environmental issues. Yesterday, however, as she ascended a small bush, she set her sights on bringing down the president himself.
"This man isn't fit to lead a nation, let alone tie his own shoes!"
— Skye Blü, political activist
Shouting at passersby and the media through a recyclable paper bullhorn, Blü chanted, "Chop Bush, Not Trees!" and ranted intermittently about the Iraq war, the disputed presidential election, privatization of Social Security, Bush's anemic response to the tsunami disaster and his lifting of the ban on boll weevil boxing.
"This man isn't fit to lead a nation, let alone tie his own shoes! He wants everyone's sympathy when we're attacked, like after 9/11, but when something happens to people who are different from him — like Iraqis, Indonesians, Sri Lankans and Californians — he could care less!!"
Within an hour of staking out her protest spot by tying herself into the bush with rockclimbing gear and environmentally friendly S&M bondage paraphernalia, Blü was accosted by federal police. But Blü thwarted the arrest by creating a dense smokescreen of patchouli incense which caused them to flee and call in a SWAT team.
The SWAT team suffered an attack of organic vegetables by several of Blü's collaborators before the SWAT team managed to grab Blü, extract her from the bush, beat her silly and ship her off to Fallouja where she will be put in an unarmored Humvee and used as terrorist bait.
Of Blü's political activism, George W. Bush said, "Let this send a message to blue-state liberals: If you get uppity, you will be beaten liberally."