LOS ANGELES, California —   Happy Seventh-Week Anniversary, Honey! 

Don't know what to give your little princess for your two-week anniversary?  Why roll the dice on your marriage by guessing, because although marriage may be expensive, it's not nearly as expensive as divorce.

So a new anniversary gift guide specifically written for Californians is an invaluable new resource.  Sonia Goodman's Happy Anniversary makes anniversary gift-giving easy for men — that is, men with money to burn.

Since the duration of marriage can particularly troublesome in the Golden State, Goodman believes that each month, week, even day of matrimony should be richly honored. For instance, the one-week anniversary gift is a deluxe massage; the two-week anniversary is a shopping spree at her favorite store. The first-month anniversary is a new car; the second-month anniversary is a new diamond; and the third month is a trip around the world.

"Men have lost their romantic touch and so I am trying to help them regain it," said Goodman, a manners expert. Goodman believes that if men paid more attention to these precious milestones then the average duration of marriage in California would get a big bounce.

"If you forget to buy something on the tenth day, it's essentially over," said the vexed Goodman. "Most women use the tenth day to determine the fate of the relationship."

And if you're strapped for time to purchase all of these necessary evils, you can turn to Goodman to help you plan your celebration and sell you all the gifts you need. "Somebody once told me this is a conflict of interest," snapped the high-strung Goodman. "But if you are interested in marriage conflicts and divorce then go ahead and ignore my gift rules — see where it gets you. When you get your tukkus dragged down to divorce court and you are down to last twenty bucks, you can use it to pick up my sequel, Happy Divorce.