boulderdash n: a road game played by California drivers during the wet season <Penelope called her friend to tell her about the ~ that was already underway along Pacific Coast Highway.> -more-



Liesure & Lifestyle

Beverly Hills Morgue
Offers Herbal Body Wraps

In an effort to "put a better face on death," the city morgue began a program where loved ones may receive posthumous herbal wraps to stay fresh longer. Critics argue that it's a dumb and revolting idea.

By George Wolfe

BEVERLY HILLS — The city morgue here will soon begin to offer its elite clientele the service of "herbal body wraps" for the deceased.

The Beverly Hills morgue "host", Donovan Ogilvie III, got the idea for the new service from a brand of skin wraps that he personally uses to keep his own skin fresh and lively. "Just because a person dies doesn't mean we no longer treat him as a human being possessed of dignity and good looks."

"We don't consider our clients dead so much as we think of them as 'nearly alive.'"

Donovan Ogilvie III, "host"
Beverly Hills city morgue

So far, response to the wraps has been favorable. The wraps come in basil, rosemary, sage, thyme and peppermint, with other flavors yet to come.

Even the city's mayor, Mark Egerman, proclaimed that "since many of our citizens spend so much time during their lives tending to their appearances, they should rest in peace knowing that it's still being worked on… that it's never too late to look young."

"Quite frankly," says Ogilvie, "people don't want their loved ones stinking to high heaven. The herbs give the skin a little pizzazz. We often say that our clients aren't really dead, but that they're 'nearly alive.' All our staff are dedicated to this principle."

Ogilvie says he plans to introduce a follow-up to the herbal wraps: posthumous cosmetic surgery and dental work, combined with what he calls "designer deadwear" — to really go out in style.






ISSUE # 17

Beverly Hills Morgue Offers Herbal Body Wraps

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