I- and J-String Bikinis
Follow G-String Suit
The annual Itsy-Bitsy Bikini Fashion Show unveils a truly revolutionary line of new bikinis by Italian designer, Venividivicci.
By George Wolfe
MANHATTAN BEACH, Ca — Summer may still be
months away, but you'd never know it by the looks of runway models
at this year's Itsy-Bitsy Bikini Fashion Show. The show typically
features "the avant-garde of micro-swimwear," but the
designs for this coming year make the standard women's suits look
Most notable was Sergio Venividivicci's bold new H-, I- and J-string
bikinis, which pushed beyond the limits of the classic 20th Century,
G-string paradigm. In fact, the renowned Italian designer made a
huge splash by instigating the first major swim suit evolution of
the 21st Century.
"I wanted to say more with less. The
idea is not that bigger is better, but that the bare essentials are
Italian micro-swimwear designer
"I am the lungfish of fashion," declared
Venividivicci. "My designs are to swimwear what Mondrian is to
women's shoes. This time I wanted to say more with less. The idea
is not that bigger is better, but that the bare essentials are everything."
Bare is an understatement.
Mia Menkoff, a swimsuit marketer who attended the evening's festivities
said, "These certainly are radical designs. But in terms of
substance… well, my dental floss covers more skin than that
Venividivicci's new series of bikinis diminishes in size as it moves
down the alphabet. The "suits" (if they may be called
as such) get progressively more risqué — leaving fashion
experts to little wonder what the Z-string bikini will behold (if
anything at all).
Conservative arbiters of decency had a field day with the controversial
new designs. National TV shows featuring Venividivicci's designs
triggered a landslide of angry emails and mortified letters sent
to Attorney General John Ashcroft.
In response, Ashcroft issued a brief statement: "Like most
red-blooded, God-fearing Americans, this irks me to no end. Certainly,
it rubs against everything our Puritan forefathers held dear."