Star Wars Impersonators Use The Force to Con Tourists
Jedi masters ran amok on Hollywood Boulevard, abusing their powers and intimidating frightened tourists with their twisted powers.
by Orion Butcher
TINSELTOWN — Nearly the whole cast of Star Wars impersonators was arrested after being accused of using "the force" to con tourists out of their money.
"The Dark Side rules!" screamed Luke Skywalker before he used his light saber to hook the purses of several Japanese tourists.
Elsewhere, Master Yoda used his suggestive mind tricks to get a couple of German tourists to hand over their credit cards.
"I was so ashamed for them."
— Bashful (Seven Dwarves impersonator)
The Los Angeles Police Department said that Luke, Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi, Master Yoda, Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn and several other Jedi Council members were cuffed in front of Grumans Chinese Theater and arrested on charges of aggressive panhandling, assault and the unauthorized use of a deadly weapon. The group was was later released on $100,000 bail posted by Darth Sidious.
Snow White, The Seven Dwarves and other movie and cartoon impersonators witnessed the chaotic scene. "I was so ashamed for them," said Bashful. "They've been doing more and more questionable things lately, so I can't say I'm totally surprised."
Street performers at the world-famous cinema collect tips from tourists by posing for photos, but some are known to turn hostile if they do not get money. Two years ago, Mr Incredible, Elmo the Muppet and the dark-hooded character from the movie Scream were arrested, but they were not believe to be in cahoots with one another like the errant Jedi.