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Fat Tax to Fund Schools
Obese and overweight people will be a new source of funding for California. Body/fat ratios will largely determine taxes to be paid.
SACRAMENTO — A new law, called the “fat tax,” targets overweight people as an innovative way to fund the state’s beleaguered school system.  The tax has been endorsed by Governor Schwarzenegger and the mayors of Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego. 

The fat tax breezed through the state legislature and will take effect in January, 2007.  Enforcement of the tax will take a variety of forms.

"Some of my best friends are fat, but the fact is that they place a disproportionate burden on our healthcare system."
Antonio Villaraigosa, mayor of Los Angeles

All California residents must now officially “weigh in” on their annual state tax form and disclose their gross body/fat ratio (based on a set of calculations).  For every pound that puts a person into the obese level for their age, that resident must pay an extra .1% of their taxable income.

As with cigarette and alcohol taxes, backers of the new law decry the fact that those who lead unhealthy lifestyles should force healthy people to foot the bill for their reckless habits.

The good news is that people who shed pounds are entitled to certain exemptions and credits as incentives to staying healthy.

 
But even non-state residents will have to ante up — at all California airports.  Travelers will be required to stand on ticket counter baggage scales, and anyone over their age group’s body/fat norm (i.e. technically "overweight") will have to fork over an extra dollar per pound in addition to any extra heavy baggage. 

Another taxation route is that of cosmetic surgery.  Obese, overweight or simply anxious about being fat, people who have fat removed through procedures such as liposuction will be charged $25 per ounce of fat removed.

“It’s about time,” says Antonio Villaraigosa, “that people with weight issues took responsibility for their actions.  Some of my best friends are fat, but the fact is that they place a disproportionate burden on our healthcare system — and that gets paid for by skinny people like myself.  How fair is that?  These people are literally ‘weighing us down.’” 

But the non-profit advocacy group Fat Citizens For A Fair California disagrees.  “First they come for the fat people,” says the group’s president, Buster McCoy, “but I warn all state residents: Will you stand up in defiance when they come for people who knit, or extreme sport enthusiasts, or those who work in hazardous industries, just because of the dangers inherent in those activities?”

To counter the new law against obese and overweight people, Fat Citizens For A Fair California has offered their own law: an “oxygen tax” on joggers and bicyclists — anyone using up an inordinate amount of precious oxygen will be charged by the mile.

KER-CHING: These gals may not be laughing after they find out about the new weight-based taxes.