The LaLa Times: California Satire, Weird and Bizarre News

pre-traumatic stress disorder n: a neurotic disease brought about by potentially impending catastrophic events After hearing reports of possible domestic terrorism come Fall, Melinda tore up her voter registration card. Her therapist diagnosed her with ~. -more-

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New Coin: The Seven Plagues of California California Leaf-Blower Causes Florida Hurricanes Evel Knievel Donates Sac, Balls Actor Phones in Performance — Literally Californians Pass ‘Fruits and Nuts’ Ballot Measure



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The News Features are the longer-length pieces which generally fall under the above categories. They should be fairly self-explanatory, but in case they're not, here are a few examples of what you can expect to find:

Entertainment: Since "no one knows nothing," look here for everything about anyone.

Environment & Weather: Feeling under the weather (or smog)? Welcome to the atmosphere.

Law & Business: Plenty here about politically correct facism, ridiculous court cases and absurd new businesses.

Leisure & Lifestyle: California on the cutting edge of culture -- check out the bloody mess!

Metro: Local-yokel stuff that spoofs your community and its beloved and behated leaders.

Miscellaneous: When generic labels just won't stick.

Politics: ...in all its sordid, sullied forms.

Science & Technology: See how the Golden State pushes the envelope into the letter of progress.

Sports: The smell of victory, the agony of the feet.

State: Arnold über Alles!

Transportation: Getting from A to Z — by way of queues.