boulderdash n: a road game played by California drivers during the wet season <Penelope called her friend to tell her about the ~ that was already underway along Pacific Coast Highway.> -more-

 
7









 

Michael Jackson to Build
Amusement Park Near Prison

Buddha's Gym:
Becoming One With Any Body

Bush Declares California
"Disaster Area—In General"

Tongue Tattoos: New Fad

Lakers Sign Fetus

Beverly Hills Morgue
Offers Herbal Body Wraps

 
 
 Entertainment

L.A.'s Most Wanted: Tarot Card Set

In light of Operation Angelic Freedom, the Inland/Orange Empire coalition has issued a pack of tarot cards they hope will lead to the arrest of the most wanted Angelenos.


NAME
 		OCCUPATION/TITLE CARD
Janeane Garofalo professional prankster/actress
 The Fool
Tim Robbins actor/major player
 The Lovers
Susan Sarandon arch-feminist actress
 The Lovers
Michael Moore rabble-rousing guerilla filmmaker
 The Hermit
Madonna francophile/demagogue /pop singer
 The Star
Martin Sheen Presidential impersonator/actor
 The Hanged Man
Murphy Brown anti-family actress
 The Devil
Gore Vidal

subversive writer

 The Magician
Barbara Streisand fanatical, Bolshevik
actress
Oliver Stone Castro-sympathizing, pro-Marxist filmmaker
 The Emperor
Cher pinko actress/player
 The Heirophant
Sean Penn back-stabbing rebel/actor
 The Chariot
Spike Lee pro-Islamic, maverick filmmaker
 Strength
Edward Norton revolutionary, extremist actor
 Wheel of Fortune
Richard Gere
socialist actor
 Justice
Sheryl Crow lovenik agitator/singer
 Temperance
Randy Newman anti-American songwriter Death
Steven Spielberg director/major player
 The Tower
George Clooney seditious actor
 The Sun
Danny Glover traitor/zealot/actor
 The Moon
Natalie Maines treasonous chicknik singer

Judgement
Bart Simpson anti-authoritarian/ midget actor
The World



LESS IS MOORE: The Inland/Orange Empire hopes to round up the usual suspects —— such as "rabble-rousing guerilla filmmaker" Michael Moore.
SHOT DOWN: Sarandon, Robbins and Glover head the list of cards being used to capture prominent, leftist actor-agitators.

 

OTHER STORIES IN
THIS SECTION
OTHER STORIES IN
THIS ISSUE:

 

ISSUE # 7

Gulf War Vehicles Hit L.A. Freeways

Orange County Joins Attack on L.A.

Sea Creatures Shoot Hollywood Flick

L.A.'s Most Wanted: Tarot Card Set

Bush Administration: Razzle-Dazzle 'em