Aries March 21 — April 19
Get off your high horse, drop the past and start re-making your own stories. Buzz Lightyear still flew, even after shedding his illusions. Don’t worry about who is right and who is wrong. Ask questions. Your artistic talents are undervalued — keeping some sort of journal could help you through. During this time, you’re likely to feel a slight pinch. Choose the path with the least poison oak. Remember her spirit. Avoid the double left turn on red this month, or an encounter with an SUV will be yours. Above all, beware the 101.
Taurus April 20 — May 20
You'll greatly embarass yourself at a party, but that's OK. A motion picture will reveal something important. Open your ears and listen carefully and you’ll find that you have elephant ears. The next move is to stay put; motion will only cloud your window of opportunity. An important email is stuck in your inbox. If you don’t clean your computer desktop, your computer is due for a crash. A greater sense of personal freedom will be yours if you let go of something you’re clinging to. Steer clear of the 405! A business meeting will give you new insights. Worse case scenario: Your ass will fall off. So what.
Gemini May 21 — June 21
Be grounded, even though your solar Houses 1 and 7 are on fire; close the shutters and lock the doors – you’re in for a bumpy night! Love is nigh; reach out and grab it! Living up to your ideals could prove troublesome right now – you’re better off lowering the bar. Speaking of bars, a stiff drink is in your near future. Don’t delay. And don’t try to oppose Uranus right now, or you'll work your butt off. Your powers of creativity are low right now – stay away from pencils and paint. Seek out numbers and alliances. March to the drum of a different beater. Beware the 101. A significant encounter will happen with a blue car.
Cancer June 22 — July 22
Be cautious and respectful at all metaphorical intersections. You left the key to your success back in the front door at home. Independence is your best friend, but dependence is your mother – you must decide what’s most important. You get just 3 strikes to strike out on your own -- at least go down swinging. If you heed the clues, they will tell you things. Your instincts are keen when you actually use them. You’re thinking of a time when you felt unappreciated. Dour spirits will try to prevail, but you must beat them into submission. Only take actions that will bring about consequences. Remember his spirit. Avoid Pacific Coast Highway and steer clear of the 405!
Leo July 23 — August 22
Vote with your feet this month, but watch out for athlete's foot! When you’re sad, you sometimes get in a somber mood. Suck it up – it won’t last forever. Ride out the harsh criticism that started it all. You’ll have an encounter with a black Prius. This is a great time for to get more in touch with your spleen. Keep you mind on the little things, on the underdogs, on the invisible. You value honesty, but try to steal something so that you can try that on and grow personally. Wait and learn. Beware the 101!
Virgo August 23 — September 22
A long-dead ancestor wants you to call upon him. Do it. Your mode of travel is via Segway. Your unlucky number is 6667. You’re feeling adventurous, but it's time to get your emergency card in order! Just remember that not far over the horizon is the sun, and that Logic is the stepfather of Intellect. So try reasoning with them. But don’t forget to allow some time for spontaneity. Just as you do this, money matters will take precedence. That’s OK, cause Mercury’s retrograde behavior will be your key to a financial breakthrough. In fact, consider Mercury Insurance for your car. Nonetheless, steer clear the 405!
Libra September 23 — October 22
Numbers 1 through 9 are unlucky for you right now. You will be filled with the energy of wanting to be more alive (take a number and wait in line)! In cooking, as with love, you may want to add wild ingredients into the mix; go ahead and do so, but you’d better buy a bottle of Pepto Bismal, too. Your grandmother’s House is coming into its own; heed the call of your ancestors. Beware the 101. There’s science in conscience, so stay in sync with things of this nature. Break Uranus and let everything fall to Pisces. Take the bus — a friendly stranger awaits your initiative.
Scorpio October 23 — November 21
You will consider love this month, and She'll consider you, too. The environment is key; it’s time to slap some solar panels up on Solar House 9. By listening to your inner voice, you may be in for a naughty time this month. Taking the high road will lead to lots of low-brow fun. Go ahead and indulge! The Saturn/Venus conjunctivitis thing is really affecting your ability to see things as they really are, even though your intuition is quite keen this month. Use the power of positive prayer to denounce those around you whom you dislike, and don’t’ afraid to call upon guides and angels to help. Your mode of transit is the foot. Avoid Santa Monica Boulevard and steer clear the 405!
Sagitarius November 22 — December 21
You can now solidify existing political and financial relationships so that their base is deeper and more dependable. Worse case scenario: without reflection and deliberate, conscious planning, this is a time when you may feel unappreciated, unlovable, and in rather dour spirits. Don’t take your relationships personally. Let this new extra source of energy fuel your innate ability for negativism and take it to a new low. It's also a good time for making impractical decisions about money; go for those pipe dreams! Roller blades will really take you places. An adventure awaits you along Mulholland Drive. But beware the 101.
Capricorn December 22 — January 19
Even though politics is in the air, now is not the time to dabble in nuclear arms; rather, one important step for you personally is a giant step for mankind. Venus conjoins Serena in Virgo; go watch a tennis match. During this time you are likely to feel drowsy, so don’t take your normal medications. You have the potential for great depth within you. Dig deep. Be a miner, but watch out for cave-ins. But while you’re there, get in touch with your inner caveman or cavewoman. It’s an auspicious time to take charge and full responsibility through the efforts of others. Let discipline be your righthand man. Go get a unicycle. Stay away from I-5 and steer clear of the 405!
Aquarius January 20 — February 18
If only you had the means this year, you could go far. But the means don’t justify the cause. The cause is in the pudding. The proof of the pudding is in your underwear. You have the potential to effectively harness energy this month — you are your own fields of fuel. Under a bridge, there is a surprise waiting for you, but watch out for a stranger. If you wait too long, something may pass you by. By the way, it's a good time for enlisting the services of others. Consider the military, but walk peacefully. Your lucky vehicle is the bicycle. Take a writer or actress to lunch. Your lucky route is Venice Boulevard, but beware the 101 and Pico Blvd.
Pisces February 19 — March 20
Your 10th House is in danger of foreclosure, so you’d better tiddy up your affairs. Great things are possible, but your sloth is really overpowering this month, so it’ll be an uphill battle. Heed what they say, “Too much tofu makes a man healthy, wealthy, but blind.” Take time to discern the temperature of those around you, and friends will likewise warm to you. The transiting Sun is traveling through your solar plexus. Your lucky freeway is I-10; steer clear of the 405!
